brokenboar | evocate; inbox

brokenboar

[ GOOD LUCK, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE ]

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From:

flamecursed

When I kissed you, I knew that I had to be.

[ it's you who isn't cruel! ]

From:

brokenboar

[quietly,]

Do not speak of that.

From:

flamecursed

[ she does not like being told what not to talk about but. she will grant him this small mercy. ]

Then I'll say this instead. You and your gift to me were the only reason I survived my return to the empire.

[ to which she imagines he will take as a THEN I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU DIE moment. ]

From:

brokenboar

[it's tempting. but his tempestuous mood is as black bile instead of fire right now, and he spits his words out as though they were poison instead.]

Am I to feel glad about that? That it was an act of kindness, done without thought, that doomed all I love?

From:

flamecursed

No, because that was my fault, not yours.

From:

brokenboar

[he scoffs, seemingly incapable of taking any alm provided that could let him hate himself less.]

I doomed them regardless. Faerghus is as good as gone.

From:

flamecursed

You're hardly alone in that blame, then. I know my actions have had dire consequences, and I know better than anyone else that there was always a dark party weaving their machinations behind the scenes.

From:

brokenboar

[a dark party... memories of the incidents every month at Garreg Mach float into his thoughts again. dark figures, almost inhuman, capable of the cruelest of tragedies...

She is trying to distract you. To divert blame from her sins.

You saw it clearly, the Flame Emperor consorting with those monsters!

She lies! Do not be so weak as to fall for it!

his breathing comes in unsteadily again, and his tone grows paranoid.]

Those were your people. They answered to you.

From:

flamecursed

No, they very much did not. Even when I pretended to be their ally, they did not trust me entirely&mdash:I never would have let them turn people into monsters if they did.

From:

brokenboar

[breathing, faster. head, hurting.]

They were for your army. They killed my people.

From:

flamecursed

[ looks at him directly, and then nods. ]

Yes, they did. They also killed my siblings, and my uncle—and countless more, many that we may never know of.

From:

brokenboar

[it hurts. it hurts.]

Why are you telling me this. Do you think it will earn you my mercy? Do you sleep better with a confessor?!

WHAT POINT IS THERE.

From:

flamecursed

[ ... this man. this is the tone of resignation, for now. ]

I do not need your mercy. I expect you to be after my life forevermore, regardless of what I say.

From:

brokenboar

THEN WHY?!

[his burst of rage is strangled by a sudden, suffocating sorrow. The ceremony, it-- it filled him with too many questions. he felt lost - more than ever before.]

What am I supposed to do now? What do I do?... What am I...

From:

flamecursed

You'd rather live in ignorance?

[ it's a rough line, but she asks it softly. ]

From:

brokenboar

[he punches the shelf hard enough to shake dozens and dozens of canned goods to the floor in a cacophony of tin and wasted food.]

Everyone... keeps asking how I want to live and I DON'T!

I don't! know! It's already unbearable to even exist!

From:

flamecursed

[ oh how she wishes that she could help with this. she really, really does.

a dented can of beans is rolling into the side of her boot, and she spares it a single glance. ]

Then you'll have to chalk it up to my cruelness&mdash:I want some clarity for you, as death is no longer an option.

From:

brokenboar

[what was clarity, anymore. his own thoughts twist and encircle him like snakes, throbbing, choking. they slither under his skull, whispering. showing him things.

You will not be at peace until you kill her.

KILL HER.]

Cruel... far too cruel, Emperor...

From:

flamecursed

Then I'll give you a chance to hurt me in the same way. Tell me something.

From:

brokenboar

...

You... this whole time... have no idea what a dagger means.

From:

flamecursed

No? Tell me, then.

From:

brokenboar

I was too young... in a rush to find a parting gift...

[his voice is a dull croak, strained too far past to feel embarrassment for an old mistake anymore.]

A dagger is something you gift your betrothed.

From:

flamecursed

[ WELL THAT WORKS. she quiets immediately, drawing her fist up to her chest. the can of beans gets a second, very long stare.

after a long moment and a deep breath: ]

Of course Faerghus would have such a tradition.

[ she sounds unexpectedly fond there. ]

From:

brokenboar

[she has the audacity to sound fond. of the nation she invaded.

did that pain her? did it hurt even a fraction of how it hurt him? he had no idea. all he can do is ball his fists, as though it might try and restrain his own whirling, violent thoughts.]

Leave, or I will kill you again.

From:

flamecursed

[ she wants to call him by his name, but she does not know it anymore, and nothing she can come up with would be able to hold the emotions that she herself beats down with an axe.

she turns to leave, showing her back to him. purposefully, and then strides away.

that said, she doesn't leave entirely. she came for supplies. she's still going to get them, albeit away from him. ]